we are the last generation whose baby photos weren’t taken on phones
yeah and? 200 years ago they had oil paintings
life goes on
if any website should have a post limit it should be facebook
my sexuality is girls all the time and boys if they’re famous, almost offensively beautiful and completely unattainable so i can attach all my impossible ideals to them and never have to have anything to do with them irl
YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER
I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time
SO TODAY IN CLASS THIS GIRL ASKED
“DO YOU SHIP KIDS?”
AND AFTER EXPLAINING WHAT SHIPPING WAS, THE TEACHER RESPONDED,
“well….yes, we talk about it in the staff room. Who would look cute with who…”
AND THEN WE HAD A FOLLOW UP QUESTION
“does it affect seating?”
I don’t even know why tumblr is so addicting like all you do is look at pictures and click a button
MY BROTHER JUST WALKED INTO MY ROOM AND HE HAD A LIGHT BULB IN HIS MOUTH AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING” AND HE GOES “I WAS HAVING A LIGHT SNACK” AND LEAVES I’M DONE
MY DAD JUST CAME IN WITH A LIGHT BULB TOO AND MY BROTHER SHOUTS “I ALREADY DID THAT JOKE” AND NOW MY DAD IS ANGRY AT MY BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAMILY
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
that was a wild ride
The best visual representation of “No Homo!” in cinematic history.
editorial design antics, pt. 2
this looks like a normal magazine spread right
if you look really closely on one of the melons i put a really tiny pterodactyl right in the middle
no one noticed
and they actually published it
now there are 2000 copies of this magazine featuring this tiny pterodactyl and i’m the one at fault
oh my god am i a horrible person or what
If I could live one day the way you live your entire life